Parliament, Cromwellian Warts and All

Oliver Cromwell’s Speech on the Dissolution of the Long Parliament given to the House of Commons 20 April 1653

It is high time for me to put an end to your sitting in this place, which you have dishonoured by your contempt of all virtue, and defiled by your practice of every vice; ye are a factious crew, and enemies to all good government; ye are a pack of mercenary wretches, and would like Esau sell your country for a mess of pottage, and like Judas betray your God for a few pieces of money.

Is there a single virtue now remaining amongst you? Is there one vice you do not possess? Ye have no more religion than my horse; gold is your God; which of you have not barter’d your conscience for bribes? Is there a man amongst you that has the least care for the good of the Commonwealth?

Ye sordid prostitutes have you not defil’d this sacred place, and turn’d the Lord’s temple into a den of thieves, by your immoral principles and wicked practices? Ye are grown intolerably odious to the whole nation; you were deputed here by the people to get grievances redress’d, are yourselves gone!

So! Take away that shining bauble there, and lock up the doors. In the name of God, go!

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Brown in the bunker

Absolutely disgusting.

Hitler was a despicable, totalitarian, anti-democratic toss-pot who shamelessly used nationalist rhetoric to boost his early popularity with his domestic electorate in order to secure power.

He used the threat of terror to reduce the right to protest and over-ride the rule of law and parliamentary democracy.

How on earth is Brown anything like tha…

Oh bugger…..

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Looking on the bright side of swine flu

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Smileys, who needs f**king Smileys for Gods sakes?

How dare you be cheerful?  Don’t you know there’s a recession going on?

What we need is Smileys that reflect the true state of the World today.

None of this:

:) means a smile and

:( is a frown.

Well, how about some ‘ARSE-ICONS?’
Here goes:

(_!_) a regular arse

(__!__) a fat arse

(!) a tight arse

(_*_) a sore arse

{_!_} a swishy arse

(_o_) an arse that’s been around

(_x_) kiss my arse

(_X_) leave my arse alone

(_zzz_) a tired arse

(_E=mc2_) a smart arse

(_$_) Money coming out of his arse

(_?_) Dumb arse

Now get out there and do something useful with that Photshop and get me some decent gif to go with these.

MSN, get these into the lexicon NOW!

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Remember when bankers in jokes were made to sound smart, how time change!

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.

The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day.

The next day he drove up and said,

‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’

Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’

The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’

Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.’

The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?’

Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’

The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!’

Chuck said, ‘Sure I can Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.’

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with that dead donkey?’

Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $998.’

The farmer said, ‘Didn’t anyone complain?’

Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.’

Chuck now works for Goldman Sachs

( Ed, he doesn’t any more!)

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Getting blog to twitter working

Trying to get blog to Twitter to work!

UPDATE: That seems to work OK, now it time for Twitter to Blog.

I feel a perpetual posting machine brewing up here.

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The mezz is the business!

I don’t even know who owns this site but it is brilliant if you like cool video clips etc.

http://video.themezz.com/

Enjoy.

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Undoing Depression

An important contribution to understanding how to dismantle the internal processes that sufferers of depression unwittingly maintain. Useful for sufferers themselves and those around them.

The author’s own web site www.undoingdepression.com covers a few other publications that I don’t have a view on but the is an Amazon link if you want or need this book.

Extract for the site:

“  This book presents a “program” for depression. AA people know that not drinking is not enough; they have to “live the program.” Like alcoholism, depression is a lifelong condition that can only be cured by a deliberate effort to change our selves. Later chapters explain how in five key elements of our personality–feelings, thoughts, behavior, relationships, and the self–depression has taught us certain skills which have come to feel natural, a part of who we are. But in fact we have to unlearn those skills and replace them with new habits–which are explained in detail–for real recovery to take place. Practicing the exercises described later can be a way for people with depression to “live the program”–and live a vital, rich existence again.  “

Some books just make sense.

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Some mothers do have ‘em!

There are some parts of the gene pool that could do with a touch more chlorine.

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Credit crunch misunderstanding.

Sir,
In view of the current developments in the banking industry, if one of my cheques is returned marked ‘insufficient funds’, does that refer to me or to you?

Yours
faithfully,

Customer

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