A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband to “Please be gentle; I’m still a Virgin”. “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling [...]
Category > jokes
The unstoppable virus
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960. Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Done that! 2. Causes you to send a [...]
Darling Brown joke.
Gordon Brown called Alastair Darling into his office one day and said, ‘Alastair, I have the answer to Cameron. We’re going to win back Middle England’. ‘Brilliant, PM! What’s the plan?’ said Darling. ‘Well’ said Brown ‘we’ll get ourselves two of those long Barbour coats, some proper wellies, a stick and a flat cap – [...]
Did you read these and hear Tommy Cooper?
To the best of my knowledge Tommy Cooper never used any of these gags but when I read them I could only do it in his distinctive voice, how weird is that. Does that makes him immortal or just bloody irritating? I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on [...]
Recession, The Cause of Domestic Strife
Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco’s when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks them into the trolley What do you think you’re doing?’ asks the wife ‘They’re on offer, only £10 for 24 cans’, he says Put them back. We can’t afford it,’ says the wife and they carry on [...]
Brown in the bunker
Absolutely disgusting. Hitler was a despicable, totalitarian, anti-democratic toss-pot who shamelessly used nationalist rhetoric to boost his early popularity with his domestic electorate in order to secure power. He used the threat of terror to reduce the right to protest and over-ride the rule of law and parliamentary democracy. How on earth is Brown anything [...]
Remember when bankers in jokes were made to sound smart, how time change!
Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.’ Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’ The farmer [...]
Credit crunch misunderstanding.
Sir, In view of the current developments in the banking industry, if one of my cheques is returned marked ‘insufficient funds’, does that refer to me or to you? Yours faithfully, Customer
